Repeatedly telling myself that I should have controlled my emotions. It's the consciousness that rules my body not the stupid feelings.
Focusing my mind to boost the consciousness against my emotions. An internal war began. Reasonableness and logic were fighting with the uncontrollable emotions.
Trying hard to analyse the situation based on the facts taken. Working hard to gather information to prove to myself that it's nothing, it's something within my expectation, everything seemed to be logic and reasonable.
But every time, in the middle of the process, the intrusion happened. The unknown,twisting and dark smog penetrated to the solid, informational environment, just like how it used to break my calmness during my 'have to be very focus and serious time'.
Therefore, the war was very tough, no one seemed to stand a chance to win. Emotions roared, logic killed but no one was going to give up. Ok, I am consciously lying, emotions seemed to stand a better chance on wining it but I deeply believed that it is just a matter of time to declare that the champion belongs to the consciousness. This is because time is pretty powerful, powerful enough to wash away any emotion, in the context of long-term.
Back to myself, took it as a challenge, the sooner I could overcome my emotions, the greater I've actually grown.
You'll never beat me. :P